It is said that the first year or two of marriage is the toughest. It makes sense. You need to learn to live together. Learn each others likes and dislikes. Put up with those annoying habits. Sometimes it is the littlest of things that can drive the other person insane. For instance, my husband slurps his tea. I couldn’t stand it. On a similar note, my husband can’t stand the way I open bags and packages. I’ll rip the potato chip bag right down the side. Drives him insane. Seems silly but if there are too many little things that can make tension in your newly formed marriage. Then of course there is the money thing. Will you have a joint account? Will you have an individual account? Who is responsible to pay the bills? Does one person spend more then the other? Of course, there is also working out the tasks and household chores too. Who will cook dinner? Who will scrub the toilet or make the bed? There are so many things to work out those first couple of years.
But along with the first couple of years of marriage being the toughest they can also be the most memorable and exciting. They are times of excitement, discovery, and intimacy. It is exciting to learn each others inner most thoughts, mannerisms, and bodies. So much to discover about one another.
And if you make it through those first couple of years you may actually have a chance of survival. Whoever said marriage is a bunch of ups and downs wasn’t kidding. I can remember the years I liked my husband and the years I did not like my husband. I can usually pin point the actual years by looking back at the anniversary cards I chose. If they were very lovey dovey I was really liking my husband that year. If it said something like, “Yay, we made it another year.” I can tell I wasn’t really liking my husband that year too much.
At this point in my life I’ve been married twenty one years. I can tell you Great Marriages don’t just happen, They are created by hard work. Love will not super cede all!
There are numerous reasons a marriage can fail. Often poor communication, finances, infidelity, the lack of resolving an ongoing conflict, lack of respect. addictions and in-laws can get in the way and often lead to a failed marriage.
My husband and I seem to have it almost all right but I must admit it hasn’t been easy lately in a tough economy where finances seem to be a taking a toll on us. I guess we all have our stressors and burdens to bear. I saw a sign this week and I thought it sounded about right. Marriage is Hard the first 50 years! Well in twenty nine more years I can let you know…
Copyrighted 2011: danadogooder and DMT