Firstborn: Did you ever have a week like this?


So when I had contacted the superintendent after receiving the response from the special education director which once again denied my request for vision therapy because supposedly it was a “medical service” he asked me to bring to him a few items. One thing he wanted was a cost of this vision therapy. He also asked that I give him the list of my son’s needs and goals that I wanted and felt would be appropriate. I asked if he’d attend the IEP meeting but he said “that would be counterproductive”. He told me to just get him the stuff he asked for to review. He stated, “If I feel it is something we can do, I will order it.” I contacted two advocates that I had previously used and explained how the superintendent wanted me to proceed  which was not the proper IEP process. Both advocates told me, Get it anyway you can! And do not worry about the proper IEP process if your son gets what he needs. It made me feel bad in a way. I tried to do things the way the process had been intended, the way the lawmakers had intended for it to work. I’m a sucker for doing the right thing. My husband even had a nickname for me, “Danadogooder”.

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In the meantime, it was a horrible week. I burned myself really bad while cooking. Something I had never done. I had so much on my plate. I had three children. I was fighting a “SYSTEM.” I had a one year old, four year old and an eight year old who I was fighting with my life for. I burnt both my arm and my breast badly. I cried for an half an hour at least. I was in so much pain. I did manage to get ice on it quickly. It was bright red and hot to touch. The ointment I applied just melted when I applied it. Even my children were scared for me, especially my eldest!

Then my friend- neighbor called from her cellular phone to say they had lost power at their house. We were having a bad rain storm and a tree hit their neighbors house and sparks flew charring their home slightly and of course their power was also knocked out.

In the meantime, if this wasn’t enough my eldest son was running a one hundred and four fever. My friend asked if they could come over to eat and sleep. I told her sure but warned her that my son was sick. She was okay with that. They all came to my home. I felt crappy but did my best to entertain. My kids loved that they slept over.

While they were here the water main broke a few doors down from me and then we were without water. The next thing that happened was I went to use the microwave and it shorted out. I just had to laugh at this point. What a week I was having! 
 
During that same week I also filled out an application for Partners in Policy Making. I wasn’t the parent of a child with a developmental disability which the program was geared towards people with developmental disabilities and their families, etc….. But I was the parent of a child with a learning disability. To me, I wasn’t about to divide disabilities. I just wanted more knowledge. I was learning, a parent with knowledge could be a powerful advocate for their child.

For more on Partners and Policy Making read:   

http://njddc.org/PartnersInPolicymaking/advocacy.htm

In addition, I was also helping another mom a few towns away. I had sent her to Dr. Kay as well. I was scheduled to meet with her to go over the report. While I was trying to learn I was also trying to help others and I had my select few who were also helping and supporting me. One of them had offered to help me pick apart Dr. Kay’s report to determine all my son’s needs. I was so grateful for her. 

And I felt like my head was going to explode!

Copyrighted 2011: danadogooder and DMT

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About danadogooder

Happily married for 20 years except when he is pissing me off! ' Mommy of 3 boys, a yellow female lab named Curious, 2 kitties Trouble and Kornelia, and bird and fish! Yes, we have a Zoo! Love to cook, entertain, and travel. I give new meaning to, "You can't fight city hall" Cause I fought worse, "Yes, The Board of Ed! " I live in a houseful of ADHD, Dyslexia, Auditory Processing, Sensory Integration and Allergies!!! I love being a Mom, to have fun and am always joking around! My job titles are: Wife, Mommy, Advocate, Friend, Maid, Cook, Self Employed Business Owner among many others!
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One Response to Firstborn: Did you ever have a week like this?

  1. Dee says:

    OMIGOSH!

    Yup, have those days! LOL. It has been such pressure! And, I see you understand this well.

    I am trying to complete my master’s degree (just three weeks to go), work on two IEPs, help other parents, be mom to three boys (15 w/dyslexia; 13 w/ASD, and 9, typically developing, but we suspect gifted as he makes straight As.), and be a loving wife who is supporting a husband in mid-life mode. Plus I work full time!

    Right now, my district is giving me a rough time. They have barred all teachers from giving my oldest son a private recommendation for a program to help him with his learning disabilities. I didn’t think they could do that?! And, that is just the tip of the iceberg. The district feels their program is successful, however, my son has been in the system of special education for 6 years and has only made about a year’s progress. I will likely request further objective testing as their are basing his progress on tests and assessments for which he cannot repeat the progress he reportedly made; not to mention some of the progress they claim he made was minimal (increasing 1-5% in two years. However, I do believe my son will obtain all services and programs he needs. I vow to remain encouraged, fearless and undefeated. I too see a “slippery slope” that is starting.

    Best wishes to you. Your blog is truly encouraging.

    Dee

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