When I was pregnant with my second son my firstborn now four years old asked, “Mommy, How are babies made and where do they come from?” I wanted to answer him as honestly as I could and in terms he could understand so I went on to say:
“Well a mommy and daddy fall in love. Then the daddy has a fish that swims to the mommy’s egg. A baby is formed. It grows inside the Mommy’s belly. Then after about nine months the mommy gets a labor pain and will go to the hospital. Then a mommy can have her baby two different ways. She will either have a C-Section which means the doctor will cut the mommy’s belly open to get the baby OR the baby will come out on it’s own through the mommy’s vagina. You came out of mommy’s vagina and hopefully your brother or sister will too!”
He seemed very satisfied with my answer.
Three years after this I was pregnant with my third child. I was driving both of my children to school and would be dropping my middle child off first. As we were on the way to the pre-school and I was driving my eldest said, “Mommy you never told me how the fish got to the egg?” I knew exactly what he was referring too. He said, WELL???” I thought to myself, “Am I too honest with my children? Do I give too much information?” I decided I was going to call Daddy. My husband answered his cellular phone. I said, “Remember the story of how babies were made??? Well your son wants to know how the fish gets to the egg?” My husband was no help in giving me an idea of what to tell him. I hung up and thought I should have known better. Why would I even call my husband? But soon as I hung up the phone my son quickly said, “So what did Daddy say?” I replied, “He said ONLY GOD KNOWS!” That was the end of it. He didn’t say anything else. I thought, Great he had accepted my answer! Or so I thought!
I dropped both of my children off at school. Later that day my eldest rode the school bus home. He came off the bus VERY excited. He said, “Mommy God is NOT the only one who knows how the fish gets to the egg.” I nervously replied, “Really?” He said, “Nope you take your penis and put it up her vagina!!!” He was really proud of his findings on the school bus.
That Sunday I reiterated the story to my Pastor. She said, “See, you should have just told him the rest of the story.”
I decided from that day forward that my son would NOT be receiving his education on the school bus anymore and although in the future he’d hit me with some real doozies, I’d have the answer!
Copyrighted 2011: danadogooder and DMT