Top 20: On Au Pairs


So my husband and I have never really gotten help with childcare so we had to have “hired help.” To be honest, having a live in has its advantages and disadvantages. The strongest advantage for me was I was able to advocate vigorously for my children being able to run to IEP meetings, never miss a school function for any of them, volunteer alot, and to not have to drag all of my children to a therapy session that was for one of their brothers (the middle child had sat in enough therapy waiting rooms by now). I say having an au pair was a sacrifice in many ways. Of course, having a “live in” most people thought I was spoiled and it was great. YOU DECIDE!

My advice to you is if you are considering getting an au pair to use as your childcare you adopt these top 20 things of what they NOT ought to do:

1) Don’t “F” the neighbor’s.

2) Don’t crash the car.

3) No knives or hot tea in the bedrooms.

4) Get laid on your own time.

5) No dating guys from the penitentiary.

 6) No pathological lying.

7) No peeing in my cups or soup containers.

8) No $400 monthly cell phone bills.

9) No loosing my children in the woods.

10) No naked photo shoots in my bedrooms.

11) No stealing my cosmetics.

12) No stealing my money.

13) No allowing the children to break their arm and then leaving mom to take the kid to the ER while you go out drinking.

14) No hiding my keys just to make me crazy and then smirking about it.

15) No taking my husband’s car out of state without permission all weekend and not calling on the cellular phone that we paid for.

16) No breaking my furniture and nailing it back together while blaming it on an intruder.

17) No visiting porn sites and crashing my computer.

 18) No high risk pregnancies.

19) Don’t serve the children their waffles frozen. (You’re suppose to cook them first.)

20) No napping on the beach next to my husband.

Okay, Okay even with this list I must admit there were many great experiences and friendships made. I love and still keep in touch with SOME of our au pairs till this day!

Copyrighted 2011: danadogooder and DMT

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About danadogooder

Happily married for 20 years except when he is pissing me off! ' Mommy of 3 boys, a yellow female lab named Curious, 2 kitties Trouble and Kornelia, and bird and fish! Yes, we have a Zoo! Love to cook, entertain, and travel. I give new meaning to, "You can't fight city hall" Cause I fought worse, "Yes, The Board of Ed! " I live in a houseful of ADHD, Dyslexia, Auditory Processing, Sensory Integration and Allergies!!! I love being a Mom, to have fun and am always joking around! My job titles are: Wife, Mommy, Advocate, Friend, Maid, Cook, Self Employed Business Owner among many others!
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4 Responses to Top 20: On Au Pairs

  1. Alison says:

    Yikes, what a list! Where did you find these crazy girls?

  2. danadogooder says:

    Hey, I paid a $5000 agency fee to get girls like this! LOL! They had fingerprinting, criminal checks, references, and medical testing and all this information was given to us along with their applications. Actually, some of them were very nice but you have to remember you are talking about 19 to 24 yr. old girls. Plus, one of the au pairs contributed alot more to this list then the other girls.

  3. Claire says:

    You forgot no severing of children tongues

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