Firstborn: A Lifetime Movie Scene


One day I received  an upsetting phone call from my son’s aid at my home. The aid informed me that the staff and administration were furious with me because I had hired advocates. She said that they felt my son did not belong in the mainstream class. She then told me that they were intending to build a case against me and then report me to DYFS (Division of Youth and Family Services). She also stated that my child should be on Lithium. She had two children with disabilities and she confided they were both on Lithium. I hung up. I was devastated and frantic. Did I mention I was also pregnant with my third child? I called my husband. He made light of it. He said, “What could they possibly report to DYFS? Don’t worry!” I was worried. I thought this was a SERIOUS THREAT and I was scared to death.

I called my Pastor and told her what had happened. She said she had done some social work and that if DYFS were to be called on me that they would come and realize there were no threats to my children. Again I was told not to worry.

I called my pediatrician. Remember I was new to the area and had probably only met the pediatrician a couple of times by now. They listened to my story and told me not to worry. I really think they thought I was nuts.

Then I called my neuro developmental pediatrician. She was the only one who felt my pain. She was really concerned too. We talked and she made note of all the comments from the Lithium to the threats of DYFS.

Little did I know at the time of my panic phone calls that they would be later be documentation of these threats being made. At the time, I was only looking for comfort and advice of what to do. I didn’t even know I was making a record with these professionals.

During this same time my son started falling asleep in class. He had no other symptoms. Being my son had ADHD and was usually hyper I was extremely worried that he may be suffering from mononucleosis (mono).  I mean what else could it be and I also remembered my friends daughter who was in high school having the same scenario just a year before. No symptoms but so fatigued she also fell asleep anywhere including school. So I took my son to the pediatrician and he was examined. I asked that she test my son for mono but she said it was rare that a first grade child would have mono and wanted to hold off on testing. I was told to call in a week or two if the pattern continued.  

In the meantime, the aid called me again and this time she told me that my son’s resource room teacher who was a new hire and not tenured and who I liked was having problems with the administration. She said there had been an incident but would not elaborate. 
The next call was on December 7, 2002. The aid asked if she could come to my son’s birthday party. I found it really strange and I was getting extremely nervous. I received two more calls on December 12th and 13th.  Then on December 17, 2002 which was my son’s birthday she showed up at my home unannounced when I was out on the road working in Long Island. Thank goodness, my aupair Melanie did not let her into my home.

The next day at the prompting of a district employee that I had befriended I scheduled a closed meeting with the principal and vice principal. Although the aid claimed that the school district staff were out to get me I decided I had to go to them. I did not know what else to do. I told them everything that the aid had said from the DYFS threats, to the resource teacher having problems with the administration, to her Lithium statements, to her showing up at my home. They sat there wide eyed and listened.  They agreed that the aid would be terminated without any knowledge of our meeting since I relayed to them I was scared to death that she may attempt to show up at my home again or even worse try to kidnap my son. I then also realized maybe she was drugging my kid with Lithium. Maybe that is why he was sleeping in class? I mean she made the comment and she had access to the drug. It felt like a crazy scene from a Lifetime movie. I could not believe
this was happening.

*
I called the neuro developmental pediatrician again and told her what was going on. She was so upset that she contacted some type of crisis center for doctors at the hospital. She told me to take my son back to the pediatrician for testing. I went back to the doctor’s office. This time I saw a different doctor in the practice. I told him either my son is suffering from mono or the school aid was giving him lithium. I asked him to test for mono and to check for lithium levels. He was extremely hesitant and I knew he thought I was some crazy pregnant lady. I told him to call the neuro developmental doctor or that he could call the school. There was that certain someone at the school who knew what had been going on besides the principal and vice principal. Someone who had knew some inside information about the aid and about the incident with the resource room teacher. (Even all these years later I will not go into who this person was as I would not want to
create any problems for them) So let’s jut say I instructed the doctor to call this person. He did and they confirmed the threats against me were real and there were in fact pending problems with the aid and teacher. It was true. I wasn’t a nut. He did the tests. My son did have mono and I was pissed that the original doctor did not test him the first time around because it could have alleviated some of stress at the time. Especially since I was due to give birth in seven weeks.

In any event, the following day I received a letter from the principal that the resource room teacher was leaving the district. It said, “We thank her for her commitment to the children and wish her the best.” I thought to myself they hadn’t mentioned a word to me at the meeting yesterday. Maybe the aid had been telling me the truth. It was all just too strange.

The day after that I got another letter from the principal. The case manager was leaving and they had already a new case manager and were just notifying me of the change.

I never did get a letter about the aid’s termination but yes she was gone too!

Copyrighted 2011: danadogooder and DMT

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About danadogooder

Happily married for 20 years except when he is pissing me off! ' Mommy of 3 boys, a yellow female lab named Curious, 2 kitties Trouble and Kornelia, and bird and fish! Yes, we have a Zoo! Love to cook, entertain, and travel. I give new meaning to, "You can't fight city hall" Cause I fought worse, "Yes, The Board of Ed! " I live in a houseful of ADHD, Dyslexia, Auditory Processing, Sensory Integration and Allergies!!! I love being a Mom, to have fun and am always joking around! My job titles are: Wife, Mommy, Advocate, Friend, Maid, Cook, Self Employed Business Owner among many others!
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4 Responses to Firstborn: A Lifetime Movie Scene

  1. Joey (soon 5* - 0, again!) TOMASELLA says:

    Dogooder gets REAL!! I am OVERWHELMED that this information would be given. Sort of “Blows your Mind!” I can only feel your stress , as it was through the roof.

    Imagine again , all these accusations. The dogooder had to be distraught?? If it were me , I would have attacked all in my path.. It seems as though this was your intent? I agree that where our children are concerned , NOBODY knows them better than us , the parents. So , I think it’s fair to say you did what you felt was necessary.

    In closing , God Bless you / yours for being the “Brave One’s” through such an ordeal. This is NOT a surprise to me , as I have read all your Blogs and I also know you…Great job with your HONESTY…I think many would not have been so open??

    JT

    • danadogooder says:

      No, it was never MY intent to attack anyone but in the situation I did become a mama bear. My dad would say to me don’t forget, What doesn’t kill ya makes you stronger! I must admit I am really STRONG these days! :)

  2. Donna L. says:

    Corruption! Unfortunatly, my family waisted time on entrusting our child’s well being with the public school system… Thank you for sharing your hard times.

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