The Burning Bed


Sex after children: I hear so many husbands and wives complain that their sex life is practically non-existent after they have children. Believe me I know all about stress and being tired after a day of working or running the kids all over. But the truth is good sex is important to a marriage. Not just boring obligatory sex either! And sex actually can relieve stress too. I always say if you are too tired at night to do it, that morning sex can be great! No wonder why so many of my friends husbands like me. I am always an advocate for good sex!

So in my own sex life I always try to add a little spice of life there. My husband never knows what to expect. And even though after over twenty years of knowing each others likes and dislikes he is also always ready and willing to try something new too.

My choices go from anywhere from a simple massage oil, to toys, or to just adding a something little extra to increase the mood or desire.

So one night my husband was sleeping. I decided I was going to wake him up nicely. I lowered the lights and decided to spray a new lavender pheromone spray that I had purchased recently. To my surprise, my husband awoke with his arms and legs flailing in the air. He scared the heck out of me! I said, “What is the matter?” I thought he was having a nightmare or something. I had absolutely NO IDEA what was the matter. He then yelled, “Why are you spraying BUTANE on me?” I realized he thought I was trying to set him on fire. Had he recently seen, “The Burning Bed?” What the hell was he thinking? I think I said just that, “What the hell are you thinking, are you crazy?” I went on to say, “It is PHEROMONE spray!!!” He said, ”┬áThat is NOT pheromone spray, it smells like Butane or Propane.” I went and grabbed the bottle. I read the ingredients. The first four were “Alcohol Denat, Talc, Propane, and Butane”. Oh my God, he was right. We both started to laugh. Leave it to the nose of a truck driver to recognize the smell of propane and butane.

In any event, the scene turned out to be very different then I had planned. It wasn’t the burning bed I quite expected that night.

Copyrighted 2011: danadogooder and DMT

About danadogooder

Happily married for 20 years except when he is pissing me off! ' Mommy of 3 boys, a yellow female lab named Curious, 2 kitties Trouble and Kornelia, and bird and fish! Yes, we have a Zoo! Love to cook, entertain, and travel. I give new meaning to, "You can't fight city hall" Cause I fought worse, "Yes, The Board of Ed! " I live in a houseful of ADHD, Dyslexia, Auditory Processing, Sensory Integration and Allergies!!! I love being a Mom, to have fun and am always joking around! My job titles are: Wife, Mommy, Advocate, Friend, Maid, Cook, Self Employed Business Owner among many others!
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5 Responses to The Burning Bed

  1. Michele D. says:

    My all time favorite ! Butane…bbwwhhaaa!! Nice catch Anthony…dont let her douse you in butane!

  2. NancyinNJ says:

    oh Dana please tell me you had “Come on baby light my fire” playing in the background!!! LOL :) love it. Dana’s quick solution to making your hubby “hot” ! LOL
    rofl, the flailing arms and legs have me laughing still. Maybe it’s a good thing that they never know what to expect eh? LOLOL (making note of that : ) lolol. Keep it fresh Dana and keep it HOT! LOL : )

  3. Joey (soon 5* - 0, again!) TOMASELLA says:

    So the “moral” to the story is……Never marry a Teamster…lol..But the dogooder’s heart truly was in the correct are. I myself could not agree more with “D”.. ALL RELATIONSHIPS require sex. All relationships require a “different approach!”

    So , in this particular segment of a soon to be , “T.V. series”…lol. She did what is so necessary. A woman that takes charge?? Interesting! Just please , know your ingredients Dogooder. Your a funny woman.

  4. Donna Latallade says:

    That’s funny! I have to share this with my husband…

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